November mental health rant

December 09, 2018

November is pretty stressful, dear people. I had few rough time going through it. With some bad thought on my insecurities and all. Trust me, please take good care of your mental health and check out your friends too.

So today's rant is on my November outcome. As mentioned last month is actually a hectic month. In the early of November I had pretty good few days off from university and take my way home to Kelantan. but hell no when I came back, I went crazy on tests, quizzes and events until the end of month. I couldn't catch up all *maybe coz I'm a so person who cant do multi task* but after all, it passed through anyway.

Positivness and consideration.

I have this one problem. I don't really care much about my rights. I've always want to be positive. In my head, all negativity is bad. I can't have negativity in me because living a healthy mental life is looking up for some good reason in everything . So that this one day someone opened up my eyes and mind on how to say NO and why. They called it self love or self care. Being all positive just give a way for people to take advantage on you. I don't really realized that people been using me coz I'm dumb but then, there will be some time you have to considerate on your decision. Uphold your right and appreciate yourself more.

Let go even it is hard.

Last two weeks, I was so stressed over this event. A sport event which I passion on it a lot, like THIS BIG of passion and love. So the thing is I couldn't participate the tournament which is kinda disappointed of some few reason; my teammates is joining, I stopped training for a while but my spirit is burning, having problem of going there because I don't have a transport T^T, and the burden of my university tests and quizzes is attacking. I think a lot in my head. Not going for a solution because my head had been stuck to something I couldn't resist; of going and participating. I couldn't even solve one; couldn't join and couldn't study for my upcoming test. Easily said, hanging on. I'm a stubborn person fyi.

To point out the main thing, it may be very difficult to deal with your emotion and stubbornness; your strong desire of something. This kind of problem happens a few times but you can reject then few more times. Put that thing away from your mind, do some other things and let the time do the job. During the period of my 'do other things' is very torturing but the next day I questioned myself why am I so eager to go. So yeah, it passed and my head is in peace. It is all just in your head.

Mess are meant to handle; deal with it

When things come up a lot at one time, manage it wisely. I wasn't blessed with a smart brain of arrange something. My life is a mess too but think back for how long you wanna let you being dumb and mess up your life. I came up with an idea of managing. I am such an absent-minded person so I really need planner a long view to realize stuffs. I made lists of works and trying to be discipline on what I have to focus on. omg just realized how stupid i am. If you have tons of work to do, don't pile them up! do it one by one and settle them at the moment. The more you skip them, the more mess you make. At last, it's still you who have to done it.

Insecurities attack

Aside of pressure from surrounding, my head also messed me up with my insecurities. I had this few days where my mind keep telling me how ugly I am, how worst I am in so many things, how stupid I am in studying. I just walked through people looking to the ground, could not look at people because I'm so scared of what people be saying; their judgement. I could not talk to anyone because I'm scared of burst out tears. I am so in silence and feeling so lonely and sad even in a crowd.

Thank God I'm back to who I am again. Everyday I fight my mind telling the opposite things and tell myself in the mirror I'm worth than ever. Don't let your mind kill you. You know it's a waste of being sad and down all the time? well I don't wanna go back to that phase. So depress, stressful and can even lead to commit suicide!

Sleep is important

When I say important, it is.. for me. I need proper meal and sleep in order to stay hydrated, energetic and for full function of my body from the brain, organs to body system. Lack of sleep will lead to so many ill; headache, depression, indigestion and so on. Figure out your sleep cycle and stick to it. I am sure this sleep also effects in my mental health for November since I've been coming home late from training and all. Take care of your body to ensure your mental health dude.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk, people :)

It is all just in your head and I hope you will get something from this post and please love your body and your mental. So what is your November rant?

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